feedback.

I feel like I have to add pics of my cookie with just about every blog, even if it pertains nothing to him at all. although I will brag and say that my Keller Cade amazed us all last week with four major falls, gushing blood including in three and revealed that he can count to 10! Sometimes he skips 3 and 8 because he is in such a hurry to get to 10- I need to video it and put it on, adorable.
I am almost too prideful to ask this because I used to be quite the connaisseur of music but for some reason since being a mom, I am so out of the loop. I am going on a little day and a half retreat next week by myself, ( I know awesome, huh) and am wanting a new worship cd and am looking for suggestions. So throw any good ones out from the last year that have blessed you. Thanks.

goodbye fog.

I am gliding through my 13th week of pregnancy and I feel like a cloud is lifting. Maybe its the end of the first trimester and my nausea is easing up,maybe its the amazing weather change here in Texas, and maybe it's just my faithful God who knows what I can handle. To be quite honest, I have felt emotionally "low" this pregnancy. I have had to a do a lot of self talking to get my self through the days and have felt that I was functioning in survival mode. It is so hard to know in those times what to chalk it all up to " oh that is just hormones and many of women experience the same thing", and what is choice, or what is a God allowed trip to the dessert? I love the scripture in Hosea 2 that talks about God alluring Israel to the dessert so that he can speak tenderly to her and give her back her vineyards. What a beautiful word picture that captures what I feel like ebbs and flows in my life. Times that I have been allured to the dessert- at one point in my life, literally, so that I could hear the tender voice of God like I couldn't in the valley, or on the mountain. I love when he allows places of "ouch" in our lives, some that have an explanation and many that don't- they change us forever. I love the nooks and crannies in my heart that only God and I know about that have been created through those tearful times. They are some of my greatest treasures in my jewelry box of life. But I certainly don't like them when they are happening. It is that waiting time, the "ouches", the silence where my faith is truly seen. I would love to tell you all that I always proceed those times with flying colors, but we all know that is not the truth. Most of the time I pout, stomp, throw myself on the ground (like my 22 month old did this morning because he could not get in his old bouncer anymore). Every once in a while, I respond kind of well:) Oh but the grace of God that flows when I come in all honesty, transparent, aware that even if I pretend, he sees all, it is a precious moment. Praise him for the fog lifting this week for me. I feel like I have fresh wind in my sails, vision for this season of life and hope for my future. Not much has changed from last week- just a gift from God, a lifting of the fog so I can see my life for what it really is...

what I am loving today.

First Day of Mother's Day Out.

sporting the shades

no explanation necessary
Oh my gosh, if someone could have explained to me that I could love a person as much as I do this little boy, I would have started having kids at puberty! OK, probably not because then I would have alot of baby daddy's and that is bad but you get the point. This little person gets cuter every day. His vocabulary is so impressive and keeps us in stitches. Just a few anecdotes for the grandparents-
we have a friend who we call Chic. We were at her house Monday night and as we were leaving Keller said, "bye chicken." James and I died and Keller realized it was because of what we said, so literally, the entire 7 minute drive home, he was saying, " byeee chicken,byeeee chicken..." and we laughed every time. He as also realized that the only being he has any authority over at this point in his life is our beloved family dog Harley. Lately I will be in the other room and I can hear Keller "correcting" Harely as he sleeps soundly on the couch minding his own business. It usually goes something like this. " Stop it Harley. No. Stop it. Hush Harley. Come Harley. Stop it. No. Come." Hand motions included. Harley takes it. He has so much energy and life that every day feels like an adventure.
Other things that I am loving these days are-
Uncle Tom's Cabin. Why did no teacher ever force me to read this amazing piece of literature? Someone referred to it in a sermon a few months ago and so I picked it up at the library last week and halfway through, I am already saying, this is a life changing book. The harsh reality of slavery is sobering and puts my heartaches in perspective. I told James that I bet Jesus wept when those slaves entered heaven and rejoiced at the faithful men and women of God who had no choice to find any value on earth and really had an understanding of heaven being our home. What a precious sight that would be. If you have never read it, do.
I am also loving that my first trimester is coming to an end. I am almost 13 weeks and the sickies are really tapering off ha le lu-
I am loving the bits of rain, naps in the afternoon, football season starting back up even though my fantasy football team got smashed this week, dates with my hubs, good chats with friends, and Mother's Day Out.
I am blessed.

thankful.

I don't usually write "deep" thoughtful posts but my heart is so full this morning. I gave my life to Jesus when I was 9 or 10 years old, sad that I forget. I remember the date, March 27th. I was wearing and UT Longhorns sweatsuit-random, and was at First Baptist Woodway on a Sunday evening with friends. Sitting in the pew doodling probably and for some reason I listened for a brief second and heard the beautiful message that I am not sure I had heard up to that point. Some random Baptist preacher who is was doing a "revival" of sorts spoke of Jesus being the only way to God. I honestly do not remember what he said, but in my little girl heart I knew I needed to respond. It was my moment. The one that God knew all along. All my days before this had led up to this point. I marched down to the front with tears in my eyes and said to some lady that I wanted to give my life to Jesus. We went into a back room and she made sure I understood- as much as a 9/10 year old does, I did. Wow. Even now I feel the emotion. Salvation. God saved me then. He rescued me. He began a work in my life twenty years ago that is still happening at this moment. I am still amazed at this message. I am a wretch, messing it up most days, giving my heart to other loves, not serving my family, choosing to ignore the voice of God. So salvation probably means more to me today than it did then. I look back at my life and see what it could have been and stand speechless before an unbelievable love. I hope that you too have a fresh understanding of salvation today and rejoice with me.
Wanted to share this precious Youtube video.