Friday, June 19, 2009

an honest post.

Can I be real for a moment? This is a hard stage in a young mother's life. Every day I say to myself, my body is not my own. From pregnancy, to nursing, to horsie rides and airplane and even nowadays my precious son purposely pulls my hair, pushes on me and hits me with some object everyday. I have bruises, scratches, stretch marks, varicose veins, cellulite(told you I was going to be real), and I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and think, what happened to the old me? To be honest, I struggled with being totally happy with "me" then. I mean, the normal insecurities- oh I wish my butt was smaller, I wish my arms were more tone, I wish I did not get that latin gene from my mother's side of the family that gave me good birthing hips etc. What I would give to have that old girl now. To wear those clothes and be in that skin but then I will probably be saying the same thing when I am 50 and going through menopause. So I try to be happy with the work in progress that I am in now but some days are harder than others. I want to have attainable goals and realistic ideals about health,weight and fitness. So there, I said it. I think. I am on a journey to the place I want to be. I will get there and it will be great and then I will get pregnant again and start all over.

10 comments:

Alison said...

I love your authenticity. And I loled at the last sentence. Isn't that the truth? Once we get exactly where we want to be, we get knocked up. (please note: that's why I'm holding on to a few extra pounds)

ragamuffinbeauties said...

I love you A...every gorgeous ounce of you! Let me know when I can keep the boys for you, it would be a joy.

Kensie said...

Love the header....great pic! I SO relate to this post!!

Tressa said...

This too shall pass! I have looked myself in the mirror and thought the same thing.

But seriously, before you know it, you will be begging your BIG boys to give their momma a hug!

Your in a season of life that requires you to be all "hands on"! There will be a season when you can set goals and work on body toning!

But 4 REAL I look at your sweet family picture on your blog header and I think, "what in the world is she even talking about- she is gorgeous!"

Meg said...

i love love love your honesty!! i look at my HUGE body right now and lament it and dread what the tummy is going to look like once the babies are out but you know what?? this body, and especially this season of this body is so temporary and what we are doing with these babies and their lives is eternal!! thank you for being honest!! and remind me of this comment in a couple of months ;).

Swartz's Scribbles said...

Your blog is so cute!! I love the new updates and the family pic. I love your honesty and I love you!

maryh said...

you put words to what i think (and kind of hope, to be honest) most moms feel. its been 2 1/2 years and i keep thinking i can get back to square one. but, you are giving a sacrifice of time and goals that is worth it - i have always admired you as a mother - hang in there!

Sarah said...

thanks for that A, it was great, real and soooo true!!! england has been a godsend for me in this area as over there people tend to be a little less focussed on weight issues. but i feel it every day. i looked at a pic of myself before having sam (you know when i thought i was fat) and i was like damn i looked great there!! what happened?!?!?! its so funny. but man having kids is such a wonderful life consuming challenge who has time to do all that it takes to get back to that college body?! i started to try then realised i wanted to get preggers so im just gonna try to do damage control now and work after the next one (but will i be in the same boat? probably!!!). love you woman. you are gorgeous. our boys are GORGEOUS. and our husbands think we are gorgeous. praise god.

Katie said...

Adrianna, love this post, and I will soon have a crazy life with two of my own. You have always been beautiful to me! Your precious heart glows through your skin.

Thank you for praying for me. It meant so much.

Jeff and Sarah Bianchi said...

You are just WONDERFUL! Hey, guess who I am going to get to see next week? (Vikki!) We are taking our training school students over there! Memories of ATS are flooding my mind. Love to you!