cutie pies.

an honest post.

Can I be real for a moment? This is a hard stage in a young mother's life. Every day I say to myself, my body is not my own. From pregnancy, to nursing, to horsie rides and airplane and even nowadays my precious son purposely pulls my hair, pushes on me and hits me with some object everyday. I have bruises, scratches, stretch marks, varicose veins, cellulite(told you I was going to be real), and I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and think, what happened to the old me? To be honest, I struggled with being totally happy with "me" then. I mean, the normal insecurities- oh I wish my butt was smaller, I wish my arms were more tone, I wish I did not get that latin gene from my mother's side of the family that gave me good birthing hips etc. What I would give to have that old girl now. To wear those clothes and be in that skin but then I will probably be saying the same thing when I am 50 and going through menopause. So I try to be happy with the work in progress that I am in now but some days are harder than others. I want to have attainable goals and realistic ideals about health,weight and fitness. So there, I said it. I think. I am on a journey to the place I want to be. I will get there and it will be great and then I will get pregnant again and start all over.

I will get better at this...

maybe in a year! It has just been hard for me to sit down and blog, although I want to all of the time because life is anything but boring around here. Graham is 3 months old today and I can barely believe it. James and I went to visit our friends Lesley and Brett at the hospital last night to see their new baby Jane and we both walked out saying, phew glad that we are us and not them at this moment:) I think we are coming out of the fog now and really starting to settle into life with two kids. Graham is sleeping better and has become such a smiley and happy little guy. I kiss his face about a million times and day he is so darn cute. Keller is getting bigger also, really starting to look like a preschooler. Here are some recent pics of my treasures!